here i am.

I've thought about this post for two and a half years.

Two and a half years full of life.  Full of mothering, working, loving, crying, making, moving, birthing, traveling, cooking, schooling, and just living.

I knew I was falling behind on my blog posts, but I also knew I was barely keeping my head above water every day trying to keep up with...well, LIFE.  The longer I went without updating, the more I knew I had to catch up on, so the more I avoided thinking about it.

And now it's been two and a half years.

I actually don't regret it in a way.  I am a firm believer in the wisdom of recognizing changing seasons of life. What works now might not work in six months, or a year...but then it might work again in five years.  Part of living life to it's fullest is recognizing the season you are in, and embracing it.

Now I'm not saying I've always embraced this last season with joy, but I did have the wisdom to let some things go.

One of them was my blog.

I had another baby boy. We moved to a different house.  We changed jobs. My boys grew inches, then feet. Time marches on...

As I look back at my past posts, I'm overwhelmed by how much bigger my boys are, and how fleeting the moments I have with them are, and I know it's time.  They're not ALL babies anymore.... I have a little more time than I did.  I want to take advantage of the occasional quiet moments I find to help myself cherish the season I'm in, and the moments and memories that are forgotten all too soon.

A lovely friend of mine is moving away this week.  She's moved away before, but always came back.  This time it's different, they sold their home and bought a new one a whole state away. I'm going to miss her.  A few days ago, we were chatting about how we each need to blog so we can keep up with one another.  I made some joke about my blog, and the fact that my last post was announcing my pregnancy with my now two year old.

"I loved your blog!" She said.

Then she said something that I haven't stopped thinking of since.  She jokingly suggested that maybe all the mothering, pastoring, worship leading, nursing, etc. just needed to stop so that I could write more.

I think she's right. Maybe I can't completely STOP those things, but I can make room in the midst of them to be intentional about writing.... contemplating....savoring.   It's time to stop and MAKE time to remember.  Time to MAKE time to process this season and these sweet moments.

So here's to seasons.  New seasons and old.  Living presently, cherishing the past, and looking forward to the future.